Jersey Joey

a rare breed indeed. jersey joey is a rumored creature feature of the grateful dead touring circuit in 1980’s and 1990’s east coast, floridian, and most especially, minnesotan tribes.

a jolly scallywag, the mythical joey is thought to have the spicy bite of a pirate and the warmth of a gentle giant.

according to cultural anthropologist ethan tuttle, “the joey’s main identifying feature markers are swaths of brown hair strands and straw-like fragments of some kind of protective hat.”

as of 2016, all hobbyist sightings are unverified and anecdotal evidence can only be traced to the realm of pulp speculation.

one such anecdote marks the jersey joey as being composed of a composite of “hagrid, you know that tall guy from harry potter, and the grey daddy (a reference to the late jerry garcia).”

as of 2016, all hobbyist sightings are unverified and anecdotal evidence can only be traced to the realm of pulp speculation.

in line with the folklore tradition, joey can be lured with an offering of cajun gumbo, a strain of colorado marijuana gr-ss called blue petunia, and dried jerky product.

the joey’s voice is thought to be something of a raspy, lightly-peppered whisper. an unconfirmed and mostly inaudible recording is rumored to drawl “anybody got a light?”

note, dependent on regional flavor, the jersey joey might be referred to as papa joey, joey the pirate, the joester, ja-ja, and most bizarrely, simply joey.
“i heard you don’t wanna mess around with jersey joey’s 52 card pickup.”