Jersey Redneck
there are more jersey rednecks than you once believed!
jersey rednecks typically dwell in backwood areas within philadelphian surburbs, where there is still plenty of rural land for the blue collar folk. almost every jersey redneck owns a chevy pickup truck, which they park in their “driveway”, which is not really a driveway but an area of their lawn in which gr-ss isn’t growing. their front yards are home to various appliances and vehicles that no longer function, somehow finding their way there. jersey rednecks love marlboro cigarettes (because newports are for “negroes” and camels are for “a-rabs”), skoal, budweiser, natural ice and especially keystone. the origins of their slow southern accent is mysterious, though speculation reveals that it is probably from listening to too much lynyrd skynyrd. instead of “you guys” they will say “youz guys”, and “tuh’marry” instead of “tomorrow”. the jersey redneck’s idea of a dream vacation is a week-long trip to wildwood.
no one thought hicks lived so far north until the jersey redneck was discovered.
a male from southern new jersey who somehow picked up a deep southern accent and has a strange love for farm animals, hunting, and copenhagen. he also gets excited over big trucks and big woman.
we all know one of these!
1) one from new jersey who operates their vehicle with reckless and ignorant abandon.
2) the state of one’s neck being rubbed against all day because one refuses to admit the jersey one is wearing is too d-mn small.
1
he got his car out of that snow bank and he took out the lightpost, too?
check out his license plate.
…ohhh …what a jersey redneck
2
you know we have lotion here. or you could, you know, just take it off
we won the championship that year, stop har-ssing me
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