Jobsworth

a low ranking official who follows their instructions and procedure to the letter. often just to p-ss you off and to make them feel important.

term derives from the jobsworth mantra “i can’t let you do that, it’s more than my job’s worth”.
i’m afraid that all orders must first be placed in writing with the appropriate department before being faxed in triplicate to the following numbers. once all of the supporting doc-mentation has been received we will then be able to instruct the pre-payment department to advance your application for purchase. etc etc
7 more definitions
someone serious in authority who lives by the rulebook to feel like a big man. they might have been bullied at school or have pill d-ck.
some sh-thouse gave me an £80 fine for p-ssing in the street. “you’ll never take me alive copper”. f-cking jobsworth.
a person in an organisation given to making life difficult for others, in order to increase their own sense of worth within the structure.
(as originally from) “i can’t let you go parking there, sir brian, it’d be more than my job’s worth.”
a person who is very pedantic at work and strictly adheres to the rules; so called because of their oft used exclamation.
i can’t let you do that, it’s more than my job’s worth.
jobsworth’s have evolved from the formerly limited scope of their disorder. often a low-ranking member of staff, a jobsworth will follow procedure and dictat to the letter, believing their responsibility to be all-encomp-ssing and of potentially international importance. this only refers to cases where that instruction has come from their line manager; any other request will be met with a dismissive ‘not in my job description’ or will require confirmation, in writing, before it can be done. a jobsworth always seeks to cover his/her own -rs- and as such will record and minute every request or job done, and will always have a trail of evidence for the most menial to the most important of tasks, though responsibility will never lead back to them.

jobsworth behaviour can also maniest itself in someone more senior who -n-lly keeps to script on every task and project, often based around -n-lysis and control of other people’s work risk management, issue -n-lysis for example), and who uses the phrase “as we have discussed” and “further to our conversation yesterday, you agreed…”, copying in their and your manager ‘for reference’ when in reality it’s to cover their back should anything go wrong, thus meaning they will not take any responsibility and you’ll be left looking like a mug.
“if you follow the email trail below, you will note that i asked my colleague to complete the letter by thursday, and to send it on that day. you will also note that i followed up this email on the friday with a further mail, and although there was an email to me on the friday afternoon stating that the letter would not be ready, i had left the office to go to cake-making and french-embroidery cl-ss, so did not receive it in good time. it was in any case not my responisbility as you will have seen from the email trail.”

“the frigging jobsworth totally st-tched me up. he pulled up some long email trail but didn’t even mention that i’d told the jobbo tw-t on thursday i wouldn’t be able to finish it in time because of the accident with the lawnmower”
a very minor official, who follows rules and regulation to the letter, however nonsensical this approach may be. characteristic of the current labour government in the uk. also colloquially known as “d-ckheads plc”, they follow in the same vein as health and safety n-z-s.
“a motorist in waltham forest, east london, was fined for parking on double yellow lines that were not even there when he parked his car. the lorry painting the lines had drawn around the stationary vehicle.” – jobsworth #1

“a council spent £5,000 planting yew trees to screen a new children’s play area. it then dug them up again after health and safety experts advised children could fall ill if they gobbled ‘several handfuls’ of leaves.” – jobsworth #2
a jobsworth is somebody, usually who works for the government who gets paid minimum wage yet takes their job as seriously as if they were working for some secret military organisation. the common jobsworth is usually found working for the devonia police force, however a more rare and more dangerous type of jobsworth is found working for london transport or as security guards at rock music venues in london. these are more dangerous as they usually originate from countries with secret police, mafia and fascist regimes and therefore guard their miniscule amounts of responsibility with their lives
the scabbing jobsworth wouldn’t let us stay for the after party, we were manhandled out of the venue.