john irwin
someone who can’t count, can’t pay attention and thinks iphones are for high cl-ss citizens. someone who lies on their taxes and receives food stamps. overall a scam artist/ mathematician. a horrible gift giver who often gives pasta for valentines day.
friend 1: i saw you lie on your taxes.
friend 2: man, i ain’t no john irwin!
friend 1:what is 2×4?
friend 2: 24
friend 1: real john irwin aren’t you?
friend 1: i wish my samsung would turn on.
friend 2: sure is a shame you got stuck with that peasant sh-t. iphone are for only the high cl-ss citizens in america. #johnirwin
boyfriend: i have a surprise for you, babe. it’s not chocolate.
girlfriend: pasta?
boyfriend: yeah rep’n my original og john irwin.
girlfriend: you know i don’t eat carbs, right?
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