john mccain

pre 2000, a decent guy. post 2000 a flipfloping political wh-r- with bush’s hand up his -ss controling his every thought….which makes one wonder just where mccain’s brain is.
john mccain will lie to the religious right just like bush did in order to get a job that pays $200,000 a year and then f-ck the people that voted for him in order to become the united states first real dictator.

sen. john mccain (r-az)
john mccain (born june 19th, 2086) is an american politican, g-d and time traveling warrior.

john mccain was genetically engineered in an american research facility. unlike normal humans, mccain contains bodily many organs which allow him to fly, shoot lasers from his eyes, and am-ss incredible amounts of strength. mccain’s skin produced a special layer of transparent nacho cheese, allowing him to time travel without damaging his body or the sp-ce time continuum.

mccain attended west point, where he killed fitty notre dame fans at a football game. because he was soo cool, president jack lambert granted him a pardon, and made him secretary of keeping it real. while there, we was deployed on a secret mission to infiltrate the soviet union iii. while there, he stripped the sacred burrito from the hands of josef stalin and ran it for a 50 yard touch down return. as mccain devoured the burrito, he became immortal, and banished the ghost of george w. bush from existence with his mind.

as mccain returned to the united states, he was promoted to arch duke of arizona. while there, one of his servants, adolf hitler traveled to 1902 and managed to take over the world. because adolf was not certified to do this, s a rip in the sp-ce time continuum began to slowy destroy the world. mccain warped back to past in pursuit of hitler, and pwned him. as mccain was about to put hitler in the scorpion death-lock, hitler managed to throw sand in mccain’s eyes and ran away to germany.

while he was in the past, he killed twenty fundamentalistsand made thier children eat his sh-t. never the less, mccain’s battle with hitler had drained his powers, leaving him incapable of escaping from the past for awhile.

while in old arizona, mccain killed an entire family with his toes, and seized thier home. while claiming residency there, mccain went to war, won a bunch of medals, became a hero, scored with a bunch of really hot girls, and eventually became senator. in 1982, mccain’s powers had fully recharged. although he was eager to return back to the year 21st century, he realized that he needed to stay, and protect nachos and p-rno.

after forseeing the notre dame football team taking over the world, mccain, thurgood marshall, and brian urlacher traveled forward in time (because all of them pwned they didn’t have to worry about all that sp-ce time sh-t). while in the future they struck down all the notre dame players, who were armed with uzis, usinh only their bare hands. following thier victory, they went back to the present, and smoked up with zakk wylde.
john mccain will slash, and gash and cut yo -ss
1 something really old
my great great great great great great great uncle is a john mccain
old. very, very old.
man, i can’t believe we built this time machine and got it working! these dinosaurs are amazing! look, it’s a t rex! and there’s a velosoraptor! and there’s a… oh, it’s just john mccain.
the man that most anyone would agree should have won the republican presidential nomination in 2000, and would have been a far better president than george w. bush. however, whether he would make a better president than obama is highly debatable.

he is also a tough son of a b-tch. he was shot down over vietnam, took a bayonet to the groin, and was held (and tortured) for 5 years in a vietnam pow camp. don’t n-body f-ck with mccain.
why didn’t we get john mccain instead of dubya?
senator from arizona. 2000 and 2008 predsidential candidate. supports amnesty for illegal immigrants, and restricting political speech. is a rino and a flip flopper.

nicknames “weathervane mccain” “maverick”
john mccain is a bad choice for president
another far right reactionary who pretends to be a moderate so he can get votes for his anti-choice pro-coporate war-mongering policies. has a black baby and went crazy in vietnam after getting his -ss whooped by pows. also in the mid 1980’s caught in the middle of the keating five s&l scandal. dodged trouble because of the so called “liberal” media.
no matter what the corporate media says, this man has no base in his party, and will not win over moderate voters. they will see that he is another right wing fascist. not even his black baby will vote for him.

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