John Waynism


the predilection for masturbating into a full hot water bottle. at the crucial moment of -j-c-l-t–n, an involuntary spasm overcomes our protagonist, leading to a back–j-c-l-t–n (or ebaculation, if you will) of the hot-water bottle’s contents onto that most sensitive of areas.

the result: walking like john wayne.
“don’t worry,” the orthopaedic surgeon said to peter’s mother, kindly. “there’s nothing wrong with his legs. it’s just a particularly vigorous case of adolescent john waynism.”

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