karaoke diva


a socially awkward outcast who sings karaoke because it’s the only thing that makes them feel appreciated. these people arrive 30 minutes early so they can be the first to sing. they require lots of attention so they usually sing more songs than anyone else. you can identify a karaoke diva easily because they start distracting the kj as they’re setting up, giving them tips on how to do their own job. the karaoke diva has no friends. they usually like to sing obscure songs that n-body has and then they like to complain about it. they’re the most high maintenance person in the bar. they always complain about the sound, the microphones, the song version, and every little detail. they usually bring their own illegally downloaded cds, which are scratched and don’t play. this is just another thing they like to complain about. the karaoke diva expects perfection beyond perfection. they have their own opinion of how the show should be run, and if you make one mistake, they lose their temper. they confront the kj and tell them how horrible they are, then they go to the manager and complain about how unfair the kj is, in spite of the fact that they sang more songs than everyone else and didn’t even tip. they are determined to leave the bar angry and complaining. they are never satisfied. yes ladies and gentlemen, that is the exact definition of a karaoke diva. there are a lot of them out there, and they will find you.
i’m sorry yvonne. the only complaint i had all night was from this guy jeff, but it wasn’t my fault. he’s just a karaoke diva.

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