Katchup
a merge of the words “ketchup” and “catch up”
oh ketchup the beautiful red stuff that graces the dinner table for common cl-ssics such as fish and chips, pie and chips, chips and chips…
i used to have a friend once who would carry said ketchup around in her purse for convenience purposes, she was an addict and in darker times would degrade herself by injecting the stuff into her eyeb-lls but the less said about that the better…
ketchup is a family favourite
99 percent of people enjoy ketchup
10 percent of people have used it as a faux blood subst-tute
also, 70percent of statistics are made up
ketchup is also a pun welders dream as it bears similar sound composition to the commonly used phrase “catch up”
so know people all over the world can embrace the saying in a whole new way and have a little ttztzzzzzz everytime they encourage the speed of something by saying katchup
unfortunately for the other popular phrase “hurry up”, because it does not have a funny alternative double entendre we will probably see this slip into extinction come 2014
all in all
ketchup is the condiment that keeps on giving
so enjoy yours today and if you don’t, ketchup!
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