kehmor

kehmor \keh’-more\ v -ored; -orage: the act of a male forcing intercourse on another male, in a fashion where the recipiant must grab his own ankles, typically enforced by members of the recipiant’s former corporation members who believe the recipiant to be a traitor

of the many taunts the former slaves of the minmatar republic have developed in their hunting of their amarr foes, few is as vicious as the righteous cry, “kehmorage!” or “you’ve been kehmored!”. few, however realize the youthful age of this insult or its coinage by myself and my fellow minmatar warriors. to illuminate our fellow tribesmen and help them understand the verb’s severity i will tell the brief story of the caldari kehmor for which the word is named.

kehmor is a young caldari of unknown heritage, who has made a living through petty piracy and trading in backwater systems for many years. he was unremarkable in all ways, until an unfortunate turn of fate was suffered. purchasing a blackmarket, second hand implant from a pirate outpost, he was cursed with a decrease in his already nominal intelligence when the doctor slipped with his scalpel during the implant’s installation. from his newly decreased intelligence, kehmor recieved the rather bright idea to -ssociate himself with one of the many violent sects of the amarr empire. for many months the amarr sect tolerated kehmor lightly, thinking him an imbecile but hoping he would prove a useful p-wn or slave in the immediate future. kehmor’s activities during this period, however began to attract attention, as he was not quite so stupid as many minmatar believe this day. seeing an opportunity to sell the sect’s secrets to the highest bidder, kehmor followed his typical caldari instincts and began probing the blackmarket for buyers. the amarr, being significantly smarter than kehmor, held the advantage however, and swiftly discovered kehmor’s traitorous nature. finding himself in prison, kehmor was soon to become the recipiant of the very verb which now bears his name. his torture, and the amarr’s decadent, perverse pleasure continued for many weeks, before the amarr tired of him and jettisoned him through the amamake-vard stargate in a common pod. it was there where i was making my weekly supply run to rens and i discovered his pod. opening communications with him, he related his story. mildly amused, i left the traitor in sp-ce, not wishing to contaminate the hold of my ship with such a lowly criminal, and continued on my journey to rens. i related the story of kehmor the traitor at first to friends, coining the verbage, “kehmored” in a discussion with the roguish futher bezluden. from him the term swiftly spread through pirate and minmatar sp-ce as a taunt, and the rest they say, is history.

although some may find kehmor’s tale and the verb of his name humorous, i wish to offer a few cautions my fellow warriors and i have learned in its usage. although kehmor is of the caldari race, the severity of the insult conveyed by the verbage of his name, should give anyone pause to call him such. several caldari corporations now routinely file lawsuits against those who -ssociate the caldari race with this individual, considering it a grave insult and slanderous. on a similar note, many younger minmatar, having been told accounts of of kehmor’s amarr -ssociations, sometimes file various formal complaints to the amarr government for jettisoning such abominable refuse as kehmor and his pod in minmatar sp-ce, polluting the republic territories. the amarr, with their dour senses and puritanical zeal, rarely take such complaints lightly, and often follow up by launching the putrified remains of the complainer in a cargo pod through the amamake-vard stargate in similar fashion to kehmor’s fate.
you’ve been kehmored

your a total kehmor