Kentucky Slap
a series of actions resulting in a horrendous wakeup. first, one person coats their hand in a mixture of breadcrumbs, egg yolks, and batter. when a person is sleeping a second person throws very got heavy cream on the person’s face, and immediately after comes the slap of a hand with the described mixture resulting in a large imprint on the person’s face, hence the “kentucky slap.” it is often understandably confused with the italian breakfast wakeup, the asian breakfast wakeup, and many others. the name “kentucky slap” comes from the esoteric language and culture of a motely crew in kentucky who frequently engaged and revered the practice of “kentucky slapping.” despite many efforts to thwart the “kentucky slappers,” they have remained resilient and triumpant.
i ultimately decided jeff would have to be kentucky slapped for his actions. his insolence would lead to a subst-tution of full size croutons for a harsher feeling of the “kentucky slap.” jeff: that kentucky slap last night stung terribly. everyone saw my face and knew i had been kentucky slapped, it was so humiliating that that i started to cry.
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