kernersville

the place no one knows of and no one cares about. a small town in north carolina located right in the middle of everything. 5 minutes from winston-salem and 10 minutes from greensboro. a place where you can find the incredibly rich and the incredibly poor all in the same place and only 2 minutes away from each other. where local high school students have nothing better to do than go to dennys then to walmart at 3 a.m. the only place with a sh-t hole 3 dollar cinema that shows anything but good movies. the only place where the cops do stop in old parking lots or go behind old buildings to share a dozen dounuts or smoke the weed they confiscated from the 6th grade girl whos carring her baby down the side walk to closest ch-nk mart. the only place where the two rival high schools compete in everything from sports to who has the most stds, the most gays and lesbians, and right down to who has the most teachers in prision for sleeping with students. a place that is quickly becoming the largest cl-ster f-ck in the nation.
lets go get some 5th grade girls pregnant in kernersville.
kernersville is where all the mexicans go after leaving mexico
-you live in kernersville…how many kids do you have ma’am?
-i have pedro, felix, humberto, roberto, carlos, jorge, carlos jr., mario, felipe, manuel, halfrida, and nada.
also known as k-ville, k-vegas, or b-mf-ck, u.s.a., kernersville provides the perfect setting for you to feel isolated yet claustrophobic at the same time…ultimately leading to a higher rate of suicide in teens than most small towns. home to such bands as beloved and down on luck, kernersville has a surprising amount of musical talent within its limits. other than that kernersville has been described as the black hole of the universe. being as it is thirty minutes away from civilization in three directions, i like to think of kernersville as being the center of the new bermuda triangle. you go in…you don’t come back out. if you don’t get out when it’s time for you to go to college, you will never leave and thus you will doom yourself to a life of boring mediocrity as well as increase the number of people in the city who are related to each other. remember, don’t talk bad about billy-bob jr. because he’s cousins with half the town. and yes it’s true, the only thing to do at night is race shopping carts in the wal-mart parking lot then try to outrun the little security guard when they come up and tell you to stop. on top of everything else, the saddest statement about kernersville is this. whenever newcomers visit our town we show them three things: (1) korner’s folly, the big dilapidated building the town’s founders lived in; (2) the new stoplight intersection, months of backed up traffic just so a light could turn red and make getting to school or work even harder on that two stoplight street; and (3) the new sheetz gas station, because a town with something that big and shiny must be something special!
when asked about my hometown the conversation normally goes as follows:
sally: “so where are you from?”
me: “well sally, i’m from kernersville.”
sally: “where?”
me: “exactly.”
this is a small town that you have probably never heard about, right smack in the middle of everything.

12.1 square miles of boring.
it’s overpopulated, of course, with over 1,400 people per square mile.
we’ve got a fair share of everything here in “k-ville”, including those beaner girls that have 10 kids and obviously have never heard of birth control. oh wait, they just can’t afford it. and the hoodrats who clear the shelves of the only walmart in town of kool-aid. and the asians, of course. you can find them in the nice suburbs, the ones with the small pastel houses and lots of gardens. but mainly, those white people make up 84% of the population.

there’s nothing to do here in this stupid town. you can go to the skating ring on friday nights, where you will find the local scene kids and lesbians, the gangsters that always find a way to get thrown out, and the occaisonal group of overweight middle school nerds. or you can go to the cheep-ss $3 dollar theatre that never seems to get movies out on time, or at all.

the scene kid population here is over flowing. you can find them at the walmart in the middle of the night clearing the shelves of eyeliner and black hairdye, they all look the same.

most people are poor here, but get enough to survive.

about 22% of people here are under the poverty line, those people being old farts and teens.
people think it’s cool to have there name on the quality mart sign on there birthday, and the number of sk-nks that dress in hollister and abercrombie, calling themselves preps are around every corner. pretty much everyone here has a mysp-ce, even the 5th graders that like to cuss and get old boyfriends. the crime rate is pretty low but i’m sure that rape is as common as breathing here.

there is even a couple rednecks, all grouped together in a huge trailer park across the street from the only business park in the city.

so this town is really nothing at all, just a little bit of everything, discluding cl-ss and real people.
-forsyth county jail-
two guys in a cell:
bobbie: so, where you from?
joe: kernersville, you?
bobbie: same. what they get you for?
joe: oh, i just raped the sl-t of 6th grade. what about you?
bobbie: same! that beaner girl, yeah she was easy.
a place you’ve probably never heard of, kernersville is an overly populated state in north carolina. it’s near winston-salem and greensboro. kernersville is the place where most people are accepted and two schools will fight over anything. it’s where 21 and 22 year olds will meet up with their 13-16 year old girlfriend’s at skateworld or the fourth of july park for a booty call. kernersville is commonly known as “k-vegas”. some main places are walmart, the cheap -ss movie theater, the fourth of july park, and skateworld. in kernersville you’re likely to see many vampires, emos, goths, country people, and old people just looking for a kid to fuss at. kernersville is the place where kids will lose their virginity and then claim that their pregnant 3 days later. honestly, it’s probably got more drama than most other cities in north carolina. almost everyone in kernersville knows each other, so when someone knows something about you…everyone will know. don’t talk sh-t about one person because they’ll get all of their friends to kick your -ss! i actually don’t recommend coming here unless you want to be bored to death and practically trampled by people twice your age.
kernersville sucks. enough said.
a city that n-body has ever heard of, unless you live there or near there. has some of the most beautifullest and biggest houses, and the beat-down cr-ppy houses. kernersville middle school absolutely sucks, but everybody knows everyone in it. coolest places; skateworld, movie theater, 4th of july park, and wal-mart. alot of people diss kernersville, its not that much of a small town if you actually lived there. if your white, alot of the mexicans will call you “that white kid”. unless you actually live in kernersville don’t talk sh-t about it?! no, we don’t live in some huge city, its where we live… half of the people who live in kernersville wish they lived somewhere else, but when they actually sit down and think about it, they would never leave because they know pretty much all of the town. kernersville isn’t the smallest, because the population is defniatly not 500. never go anywhere at 5-6 (everbodys getting of work around than). some of the people actually like country music, but were not a bunch of hillbillys, and we listen to other stuff. so everybody thats talking cr-p about kernersville….. stfu & smh
white kid wal-mart kernersville
a small town in the piedmont region of north carolina. with a population 22,309, don’t be fooled. this town is f-cking boring. the only attractions are that old house on main street, the bowling alley, a roller rink, the out of date movie theatre, and wal-mart. the school system is sh-tty, and way behind the semi advanced learners of guilford county. there are hardly any white people, because they all hate the overwhelming amount of -sshole mexicans that moved in, so they left. the entire town only has one 4-way intersection.
kernersville, north carolina. now changing its name to little mexicoville!

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