ketchup dick

derogatory term for a volunteer fire fighter.

also known as a kd.

this explains the volunteer fire fighter who returns from his bi-yearly trash can fire and spends the next 2 hours talking about how f-cking cool he is for slaying the dragon and saving the day. he then m-st-rb-t-s to such an excess that his d-ck turns bright red and starts to bleed.

a kd will drive a large red pick up truck with a light bar and sticker of fire fighters in the rear window.

a kd will wear a bat belt of pagers, radios, flashlights, knives, cpr pocket mask, ext…

a kd will have several tattoos of fire fighter themes
that dudes a ketchup d-ck look at his big truck with the light bar.
derogatory term for a volunteer fire fighter.

also known as a kd.

this explains the volunteer fire fighter who returns from his bi-yearly trash can fire and spends the next 2 hours talking about how f-cking cool he is for slaying the dragon and saving the day. he then m-st-rb-t-s to such an excess that his d-ck turns bright red and starts to bleed.

a kd will drive a large red pick up truck with a light bar and stickers of fire fighters in the rear window.

a kd will wear a bat belt of pagers, radios, flashlights, knives, cpr pocket mask, ect…

a kd will have several tattoos of fire fighter themes. many of which might feature 9/11, fdny, or 343…..despite the fact that they were not even in the fire service on 9/11 and could not find their way to new york city because there is no gps on their talk tracker flip phone. (which is also prominently worn on the bat belt.)
kds can almost always be found leaning on the fence at rural high school football games. their uniform consists of a dark blue t-shirt with white writing tucked into wrangler jeans and dirty leather work boots. they will be the ones trying desperately to hear their walkie talkie over the crowd, because there is a group of fellow ketchup d-cks on a working structure fire (aka fully involved trailer house) in the next county over.

ketchup d-cks will consider themselves highly trained despite evidence that they are not. they will harbor animosity with nearby paid fire departments because they are insanely jealous of paid firefighters. this leads to sh-t talking and disrespect of the paid firefighters. however, paid firefighters could really give a f-ck less what a ketchup d-ck thinks about him.

examples:
that dude’s a ketchup d-ck. look at his big truck with the light bar and stickers.

paid firefighter: “looks like we’re gonna need some backup, captain. should we call some ketchup d-cks?”
paid captain: “f-ck no.”