King Shazzle

-noun

all mighty monarch of the grace street populace. very little is known of this powerful and callous leader. it is said that his style is impetuous and his defense: impregnable. he is believed to reside in his personal wing of the imperial palace. this wing is known simply as the “master’s chambers” or “master’s quarters”. within this glorious bastion comes a not so glorious allegation. it is believed that one of his steadfast servants has been mandated to live in an area known solely as the “dog pound”. this individual is forced to remain naked, dressed in nothing but a dog collar (and -ss-less chaps on special occasions). leaked photographs have recently revealed the truly horrific state of the “dog pound”. the walls are soiled with feces and other bodily excrement. due to these leaked photographs, king shazzle’s castle has enlisted two new security measures to ensure privacy and safety. these security measures include large guard dogs (known only because of the large “beware of dog” signs hanging from the immense outer walls of the fortress). the other security measure includes a personal bodyguard known to have training in mixed martial arts and boxing. this guard is known by no other alias than ballard. he is noted as wearing a ballardhawk, made famous by the late billy mays. most of king shazzle’s life is a shrouded in secrecy. however, it is widely known that he does enjoy asian cuisine from pei wei and he also has as a taste for women in their 30’s.
servant 1: king shazzle, can i -ssist you in any way?

king shazzle: yes, please insure that no one sleeps in my bed while i am off conquering new territories.

guard ballard to servant 1: did you get those blood stains out from when i deflowered my boyfriend in the master’s bed?

servant 1: yes, they are clean. he will have no idea.