Kohls


an establishment located in plazas and sometimes traditional malls. mr.kohl “pioneered” a method where the registers are at the front like a grocery store but since then this technique has ineffective because current management believes that having only one worker on the registers is sufficient. because of their lack of insight this leads to a constant “barrage of backup to mens!”, “backup to womans!”, “there is no line at jewelry!”,etc over the intercom.most of the time even despite the lack of workers at the register the reason for the hold up at the register is because of the employees who partic-p-te in long drawn out conversations with customers about the great “deals” they have. the main reason for the delays at the register, however; is due to the company’s credit policy. each manager is bred and trained into credit “wh-r-s” where their main existence is to bully and pester customers into signing up for credit cards where they charge a fee of 20% if your late on your payment.$100, you pay $120. if the customer says no they don’t want a credit card in the manual an employee supposed to say, “are you sure you have an opportunity to save up to 12 times a year” and if that doesn’t work in a desperation move an employee is then supposed to ask if they would like to sign up for an email account. kohls prides itself in a yes we can! policy i.e. if you bring a shirt to the register and say its 20 bucks but on the register it says the actual price is 30 they are supposed to give it to you for 20. actually because the people working at the registers believe they have some divine duty to not give anyone a deal add to the increased barrage of people on the intercom by calling for employees to see if that is the actual price. continuing their credit wh-r- policy it is common for a manager to go on the intercom and plea for customers to sign up for a credit card and describing the “benefits”, these can last up to 3 minutes. even though the sounds emitting over the intercom can sound like nails on a chalkboard some would argue that its a better then the atrocious music that plays such favorites as “all in this together” – ben leeone day on an 8 hour shift this song played a total of three times inducing nausea.kohls attempts to justify their credit whoring by saying that it benefits everyone including employees because each employee receives a meager stock option after a year of employment and it will help increase that value;however, most employees don’t even survive their 90 day training period let alone a year. an employee also only receives an increase of 50 cents to their paycheck for each credit card wh-r-d. the job pays bad especially in comparison to other similar retail establishments in the same cl-ss some even offer commission. every kohls is always understaffedgranted a lot of employees quit this shortage leads to a lack of customer service and a pigpen of a store. to add salt to the wound every week their is a customer service report card and the common complaint is lack of available -ssociates, the managers then manipulate this statistic by putting the blame on employees saying they are not wearing their name badge or they don’t smile and say hi to each customer. kohl’s does however offer cheap merchandise albeit at the expense of its employees so it is a good place to find a deal.that being said as an employee the workplace at kohl’s left me with a pessimistic outlook on life and since my termination from the company i feel like a changed individual.oftentimes work experience will help you become a better worker but kohls has managed to put me in a worse position then before i started.
franklin: “ayy brahhhh why’d yous get fired from kohls?”

leonard: ” cuz, i got caught spitting game at a girl for twenty minutes on the camera but i dont really care because i hated that place.”

franklin: ” d-mn,…that bad huh”

leonard: “the job has probably shortened my life expectancy…”
kohls is a department store that resembles a cross between a typical clothes store but with a layout similar to the mall. kohls starting salaries are higher then 6.50, usually in the 7 dollar range. kohls is kinda like a walmart of clothes and similar accessories, minus the bullying. kohls is notorious for its good customer service, low prices (compared to equivalent clothes at the local mall), and various sales. they are obsessed with customers getting kohls charge cards..
wow i got these basketball shorts for $10! at the mall they were $40!. i think im gonna get a kohls charge!

yea kolhs is da bomb
a giant soul sucking chain of department stores, which started out as a grocery store and is now an incredibly profitable business. they pride themselves on low prices and great customer service. the so called sale prices aren’t sales, they r items that hav been marked up and then down 2 create a fake sale, the clearence is the only good deal, with xxxl sizes and damaged merchandise. the managment are power hungry uneducated fools that sit on their -sses all day and complain that nothing gets done. customers who shop there r fat white trash hicks that let their inbred kids run around the store destroying everything, while they try on hoochie mama outfits. employees r underpaid slaves that hav 2 listen 2 customers b-tch and complain that they didn’t get the 75 cents off they were promised in their imaginations. kohls is the place wher dreams go 2 die.
brother:”after were done having s-x, wanna pack up the 12 kids and head to kohls?”

sister:”yea, i don’t hav a job or a life i mite as well go try on clothes that don’t fit”
the hottest guy ever in the whole entire world, he is a mad laxer and you just wanna do him every time you look at him
i saw kohl today and wanted to rape his face.
is the inner strength inside you to help you keep going.
in that basketball game i was out of hope out of energy and my will was gone then my kohl came from nowhere and i stole the ball and dunked it home.
an unwanted change of plans, often -ssociated with a screw up or mistake.

also a chain of department stores.
“that idiot jesse kohlsed the ski trip again, looks like he’s not going…”

1) a self-deprecating narcissist who offends anyone who stands around long enough to see him open his mouth.

2) that dude you suspect is banging your girl-friend/wife; he is.
g-d, i never thought i would ever get to be kohl’s friend.

you: what’s up with you and kohl? are you cheating on me with him?
your girl friend: no, nothing is going on.
me: yes, i am railing your girl so hard. check out her f-ck legs.

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