lamb fries


a fried food item made from sheep b-lls. sometimes referred to as sheep fries or, partly erroneously, rocky mountain oysters/mountain oysters. popular among farmers who have nothing better to do with piles of t-st-cl-s from neutered domestic lambs. featured in the chevy chase film “funny farm” and in the discovery channel television show dirty jobs.

how to make:
1. invert lamb
2. make small incision in scrot
3. use front teeth to squeeze b-lls from scrot (think of squeezing the last bit of toothpaste out or popping a candy from it’s wrapper) and subsequently rip them out. teeth method preferred because it leaves hands free to secure lamb.
4. wash b-lls thoroughly
5. boil until tender (30 to 45 minutes)
6. roll b-lls in batter of your choice or roll in egg then bread crumbs
7. heat about 3/4 inch of vegetable oil to 370 degrees in frying pan
8. fry until light brown
9. let cool on a wire rack until ready to consume
guy: hey man, you’ve gotta try these lamb fry things i got from my cousin, they’re super fire!

dude: those are sheep b-lls, dipsh-t. i’m not eating those.

guy: sick! -guy heaves up lamb fries-

note: a lamb fry is a rocky mountain oyster but a rocky mountain oyster is not necessarily a lamb fry.

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