Lamb Hammock
a s-xual maneuver involving two spatulas and a generous amount of bacon grease.
kid: mommy, can i have bacon for breakfast?
mommy: (cutting fruit for the child’s lunch) no honey your father and i used it last night.
kid: why?
mommy: adult stuff.
kid: why?
mom: because you’re too young.
kid: oh yea? f-ck, sh-t, b-tts-x, fisting, procrastibating-
mom: okay, okay you’ve proved your point. we were lamb hammocking last night.
kid: why?
mom: we wanted to try something the kids were doing these days.
kid: why?
mom: to put the spark back in our marriage.
kid: why?
mom: so your father and i don’t kill you.
awkward silence
mom: (goes back to cutting fruit, this time more agressively) so how’s school child?
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