Landing Pad

a layer of toilet paper (usually somewhere between 3 and 8 pieces) laid down on the surface of water within the toilet bowl before one has a bowel movement. this layer of toilet paper, or ‘landing pad’, serves a 3-fold purpose: (1) to prevent the dreaded splashback effect caused by the fecal displacement of water; (2) to soften the “ker-plunk!” sound that often occurs when feces breaks the surface tension of the water (this is particularly effective because the toilet paper disables the properties of water’s surface tension by acting as a semi-permeable membrane, a sort of dampening medium between water and air; further, the speed of the displacement of the water is lessened, which makes for a much softer noise); and (3) to bring about an awareness of the tp supply before use, negating any chance that one might have a bowel movement, only to look over and notice that there is no toilet paper.
johnny: “dude, i went to meet my girlfriend’s parents for the first time last night. halfway through the night i realised that i needed to take a m-ssive dump, which was uncomfortable because the bathroom was next to the living room where they were sitting, and the house was dead quiet”

billy: “no way, man… what did you do?”

johnny: “i built a wicked landing pad, so not only did they not hear me, but i was also able to stay as dry as a cracker for the whole experience. what a night it was!”
a layer of toilet paper laying on the top of the water in the toilet to keep you from getting backsplash.
luckily the landing pad was there to catch my m-ssive sh-t.
toilet paper set on top of the water in a toilet. its main use is to provide a landing pad for the t-rd your going to lay, so that the water does not spash back up onto your b-tthole, b-lls, and thighs.
hey guys i just took the biggest dump, and i came back dry as a desert because i layed a landing pad for my t-rd.
when you put toilet paper in the bowl first, so when you take a sh-t the water doesnt splash up.
“yo i just got soaked from the huge sh-t i just took”
“dude you gotta make a landing pad next time you take a dump!!”
the flat area that your pants make near your crotch when you spread your legs; also can be used in place of lap
“c’mon gurl, come land on my landing pad.
something you put down on the bed or other surface to prevent it from getting dirty or wet from having s-x. usually this is a towel, but anything will do.
person1: i am h-rny, lets get it on.
person2: well i just changed the sheets so put a landing pad down!
placing the pad of your mom, girlfriend, or any other woman in your household in the toilet bowl before you drop oval brownies to prevent cold water from splashing up into your -n-s.
“you and courtney still together?”
“no…she broke up with me because i used her last pantie liner for a landing pad. she couldn’t go to her job interview because she bled through her pants.”

“come out tonight.”
“i cant…im grounded.”
“for what?”
“mom caught me using her tampax for a landing pad.”

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