launceston


is a r-t-rd town with few well-balanced people. it is famous for having great care and professionals for people with mental illness. i just know that living there for too long can contribute to actually developing one. it is very common that if you were not born there you are treated as if you had a leprosy. and if not probably you have something that that ‘person’ wants. overall if laucestonians have more rights than newcomers. of course you do not speak negatively about any place in launceston as someone can ‘accidently’ damage your car, you can start being har-ssed at work or your kids may start being bullied at school. it is a controlled sh-thole. literally if you fart in public everyone will know. amazing! after leaving launceston you may need some period of recovery for your mental and physical wellbeing. by the way if you are s-xually har-ssed it is your fault, if your kids are bullied it is their fault,whatever happens to you you need to shut up and put up with. if you try to complain be sure that launcestonians ll help with your mental health deterioration. don’t be fooled when you come and visit that town. yes it looks and feels great when you are there for a few days, when you live there you feel like you are going to suffocate.
launceston is a sh-thole we do not give a duck about you in launceston launceston is an anarchy town launceston is a psychosis town
launceston is a town in tasmania.tasmania is a small state of australia that is an island on the east side of the country.
launceston is often referred to as‘lonnie’or ‘l’ton’.
if you live in the town…you hate it and want to move as far away as possible
if you don’t live in the town…you hate and never go their.never.
in this town everyone knows, heard or seen everybody else…and is usually their cousin… sometimes this is due to inbreeding.
people of the this town should be avoided at all times but in particular on thursday, friday and sat-rday nights when many locals engage in drinking and drug taking.
you will be able to identify the locals at pubs and on the street due to their holding of a ‘boags’ can or bottle or sneaking a swig of the ‘goon’ bag and picking a fight.
also, avoid the mall. during the day you will be beaten up by young children wearing bandannas. during the night you will be har-ssed be christens bribing you with coffee to listen to their cr-p.
tourist.1. wow! look over there that person has 2 heads tourist.2 thats because we are in launceston!
not so much a place; as more of a negative state of mind.
it is situated in the northern part of tasmania, which is an island on the southern part of australia. launceston is a complete sh-t hole and in light of this you should never go there. ever. being there for more than a few minutes generally results in the loss of the will to live.
if you do get banished to this awful place, be sure to avoid the brisbane street mall at any cost. the rest of brisbane street to the east of the mall is okay. you should only go to the west of side of brisbane street past the mall if you want to see a film or buy kfc.
due to the largely inbred population of launceston, and indeed, tasmania, nice places in launceston are rare. one such exception is george street, which is generally bogan-free and is filled with some of the more upper-cl-ss shops such as the mac shop (the closest thing launceston has to an apple store). another nice place to be is civic square, which has some nice gr-ssy bits and fountains and is near a nice big clock.
geeks often find a home within the library or eb games or play by wire or the museum.
if you want to buy a sword to fight off the locals, you would be advised to visit dark ages emporium, as they have a large range of quality swords and other weapons.
some of launceston’s parks are quite nice, such as princes square, which is filled with trees, gr-ss, seats. a fountain/pond with fish, and some lovely homeless people and junkies. another nice park is city park, as it has monkeys.
to cap it off launceston is officially the boredom and bogan capital of the world.
all in all you would be best advised never to come anywhere near launceston. ever.
launceston is a hole.
launceston is very persuasive and alluring city in tasmania, and island state of australia.

within one week you’ll have a side fringe
within two you’ll develop skinny-leg jeans
within three you’ll be a fully fledged scene kid
on your fourth you’ll be hanging around outside coffee republic smoking, all day.

it’s also really cold
“du’, wna cm ta moys”? translation: dude, do you want to come to mortys

“cbf” (flicks fringe)

“omg i hate launceston” (will never leave)
the colon of planet earth. the place where you get summer, spring, autumn and winter twice in the sp-ce of 2 hours. launceston pwns hobart.
terrorist 1: hey let’s go and blow up launceston!
terrorist 2: what? where the f-ck is launceston?
living in launceston makes me want to commit suicide.

it’s the bogan, redneck and boredom capital of australia.
person 1: launceston is a f-cking sh-thole.
person 2: i want to f-cking leave but i have no money to move to the mainland.
person 1: lets just kill ourselves instead.
person 2: but the locals will try and eat us.
person 1: ok fine how about you kill yourself and i have you for dinner?
person 2: fine.
launceston is a small town, situated in tasmania… if you’ve never been there, then you should consider yourself lucky. many people hold the belief that launceston is a lovely place… they’re wrong.

the brisbane street mall in the heart of launceston has become known as ‘bogan central’. this is where children/teens partic-p-te in daily activites such as smoking, vandalism, fighting and theft – these people have become known as ‘mall rats’. the skate park (known better as ‘royal’) is yet another general gathering area for bogans. walking through the skate park, you’d notice (just like the mall) smoking, vandalism and fights… if you continue to walk through the skater then you’ll notice a few empty alcohol bottles, goon bags and bongs – this is all part of the natural bogan life at royal.
tourist: is that child drinking from a goon bag?
tourist 1: it’s launceston… what do you expect?!

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