legalese
a way of talking or writing used mostly by lawyers and corporations, as a way to explain and elaborate every square inch of the matter at hand – creating an airtight verbal bubble that leaves no room for ambiguity.
this is done by writing as little as possible with as many words as possible, in such a way that average joe won’t have a single clue what is presented to him, yet agrees to it because he couldn’t care less about reading page up and page down with all that legal nonsense before he gets to use his new computer program.
average joe: “your program destroyed by pc! i’m suing!”
big corporation: “you can’t. you consented to waive all your customer-, civil- and moral rights upon agreeing to our terms of use license before using the product.”
average joe: “how was i supposed to know that?! it was 72 pages written in legalese!”
the dialect that the “legal” profession uses to hoodwink people into paying them a week’s wage for an hour’s work. see conflict of interest.
attorneys use legalese to be able to tell lies about regular people without the regular people being able to understand what’s said about them.
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