legs painted on
when you’ve been steadily partaking of alcohol, hash cookies, bongs etc in the seated position, only to realise upon standing up that you’re too godd-mn wasted for your legs to be capable of fulfilling their normal function. derived from the practice of painting on (or using decals to represent) non-functional elements to decorate cars (eg bullet holes), model aircraft (eg instrument panels) and so forth.
i thought i was still ok until i went to take a dump with my legs painted on and ended up sh-tting myself in the hallway.
girl: let’s take this to the bedroom.
guy: allright! yeah baby — oh sh-t, your legs are painted on, i’m gonna have to drag your -ss.
i can’t believe you survived that bike ride with your legs painted on, man, you puked all over my garage and went to sleep on a wheel ramp.
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