Lehigh Valley

the third-largest metropolitan in the state of pennsylvania, as it is known by non-lehigh valley residents. it consists of the cities of allentown, bethlehem, and easton located in lehigh and northampton counties. scr-pe off the gloss and it is in fact a time warp. it is a place where conservative, waspy middle-aged residents inhabit as well as younger parents with children go to raise families and clog the roads with their horrendous driving skills. the area has gained attention in recent years, as evidenced by a new casino in bethlehem and the promenade shops at saucon valley. yet in spite of these progressive improvements, people here are stuck in the 1950’s and firmly resist change. perhaps thats due to the fact that there are so many old people as well as gun-loving, pickup-driving hicks who think that the gap is upscale shopping. the speed limits are set far to low as way of accommodating the slow drivers who can’t merge to save their lives. travel guides and tourism agencies boast its “proximity” to philadelphia and new york city however there is no meaningful connection to either of those places whatsoever. the lehigh valley disguises itself as a peaceful middle ground between the more expensive metropolitan areas found to its south and east, when really it is just like any other decaying, rust belt place in pennsylvania. people who choose to live here think that the “valley” is the best place on earth. don’t buy into it. move somewhere else.
mike: “so where are you from?”
ted: “the lehigh valley”
mike: “oh. i live in bucks county which is ten times better and a h-ll of a lot closer to philadelphia”.
ted: “actually, i love where i live. being surrounded by white, republican nra members is a blast!”
the third-largest metropolitan in the state of pennsylvania, as it is known by non-lehigh valley residents. it consists of the cities of allentown, bethlehem, and easton located in lehigh and northampton counties. scr-pe off the gloss and it is in fact a time warp. it is a place where conservative, waspy middle-aged residents inhabit as well as younger parents with children go to raise families and clog the roads with their horrendous driving skills. the area has gained attention in recent years, as evidenced by a new casino in bethlehem and the promenade shops at saucon valley. yet in spite of these progressive improvements, people here are stuck in the 1950’s and firmly resist change. perhaps thats due to the fact that there are so many old people as well as gun-loving, pickup-driving hicks who think that the gap is upscale shopping. the speed limits are set far to low as way of accommodating the slow drivers who can’t merge to save their lives. travel guides and tourism agencies boast its “proximity” to philadelphia and new york city however there is no meaningful connection to either of those places whatsoever. the lehigh valley disguises itself as a peaceful middle ground between the more expensive metropolitan areas found to its south and east, when really it is just like any other decaying, rust belt place in pennsylvania. people who choose to live here think that the “valley” is the best place on earth. don’t buy into it. move somewhere else.
mike: “so where are you from?”
ted: “the lehigh valley”
mike: “oh. i live in bucks county which is ten times better and a h-ll of a lot closer to philadelphia”.
ted: “actually, i love where i live. being surrounded by white, republican nra members is a blast!”