life of brian

a docc-mentary by david attenborough on monty python
-scene from eighth episode of life of brian-

david attenborough: …and no better place to view a monty pythons sense of comedy is just over this wall -david attenborough looks down at brian-

-a centurion catches brian writing graffiti on the palace wall.-
centurion: what’s this, then? “romanes eunt domus”? people called romanes, they go the house?
brian: it says, “romans go home.”
centurion: no, it doesn’t! what’s the latin for “roman”? come on, come on !
brian: er, “rom-n-s”!
centurion: goes like?
brian: annus.
centurion: vocative plural of “annus” is?
brian: er, “anni”!
centurion: “romani”… -writes “romani” over brian’s graffiti- “eunt”? what is “eunt”?
brian: “go”.
centurion: conjugate the verb, “to go”!
brian: er, “ire.” er, “eo,” “is,” “it,” “imus,” “itis,” “eunt.”
centurion: so, “eunt” is… ?
brian third person plural present indicative, “they go”.
centurion: but, “romans go home” is an order. so you must use… ? -twists brian’s ear-
brian: aaagh! imperative!
centurion: which is…?
brian: aaaaagh! er, er… “i”, “i”!
centurion: how many romans?
brian: aaaaagh! plural, plural… er, “ite”!
centurion: “ite”… -writes “ite” on wall- “domus”? nominative? “go home” is motion toward, isn’t it?
brian: dative! -centurion pulls out gladius and holds it against brian’s throat- aaagh! not the dative, not the dative! er, er… accusative, accusative, “ad domum”, sir, “ad domum”!
centurion: except “domus” takes the…?
brian: the locative, sir!
centurion: which is…?
brian: “domum”!
centurion: “domum”… -writes “domum” on wall- um. understand? now, write it out a hundred times.
brian: yes, sir. thank you, sir. hail caesar, sir.
centurion: hail caesar! and if it’s not done by sunrise, i’ll cut your b-lls off.

david attenborough: -turns toward the camera- amazing