Linoleum Lizard


n. term for someone else’s children who scurry around, dart underfoot, and may give you the heebie-jeebies due to the unpredictable way they move like a lizard across a linoleum floor. may be applied to your own children depending on how you’ve raised them. see also, rugrat.
frank: “geez, what was that thing that just ran between my legs?!”
larry: “that was jim’s little linoleum lizard. he just turned two.”
child: hsssssss!!
a derogatory term for a young child who is older and more annoyingly mobile than a crib crab. often used interchangeably with rug monkey and rugrat.
the linoleum lizard is under the table again and won’t come out. that’s fine. as far as i’m concerned, the little b-st-rd can stay there until his parents come home.

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