Locker Hockey

a sport invented (and soon to be played) in a small town in british columbia, by a select group of grade 11 students (with nothing better to do). the game is played inside the halls of a two story school with the library on the first floor, and the lecture room on the top. the equipment needed is as follows: 40 hockey sticks, 41 blind folds, 2 volleyb-lls, 1 red bowling pin, 1 blue bowling pin, 39 red uniforms, 39 blue uniforms, 1 set of keys to all the rooms in the school, 1 cd of the song “soccer practice”, 1 long zapstrap, and 1 snake (can be a different kind every game). this game is played with the following people: 40 players, 2 referees, 1 person n-body likes, and 1 snake (yes the snake is playing). first the referees must lock one volleyball in the library, lock the other in the trap door of the lecture room, lock the bowling pins in separate rooms upstairs, play the song “soccer practice” over the pa system in a loop (it will last the whole game), place the all uniforms and the snake in the locker-room, blindfold all 40 players, and then blindfold the person n-body likes and zapstrap his hands behind his back with the keys attached. the person n-body likes is set free to run and hide, while all 40 players position themselves at the front of the school. when the referees say “go” the players must make their way to the locker-room (which is located at the other end of the school (keeping in mind that all are blindfolded). once making it to the locker-room they must then select a uniform at random (still blindfolded) while avoiding the snake. once a uniform is put on, the player can remove their blindfold (finding out if they are on the red or blue team) at which point they are rewarded with a hockey stick by the referees. once everyone has their hockey stick, the referees must leave the school. players must find the person with the keys and beat them with the hockey sticks (or feet) in order to get the keys. if the person with the keys avoids capture for 1 day, he wins. once the keys are taken, the library must then be opened and the volleyball found. the volleyball can only be hit using the hockey stick, or the haunches. the volleyball must be taken to the stairs (which are locked) and the door must be opened. the volleyball must be hit up the stairs to the top floor. the person with the volleyball must then find the room with the same coloured bowling pin as is his uniform. once found the pin must be struck down with the volleyball. once this is done the team of that colour wins. if no one wins for 2 days, the snake wins. after winning, the team can proceed to the lecture room at which point they partake in a ‘minigame’ of sorts. the lecture room is filled with at least 10 scantily clad women that have hidden the key to the trap door somewhere inside the lecture room. the person that resists seduction and finds the key can then open the trap door, find the volleyball, and exit the building with it. that person is now the champion of the winning team and can have all the women in the lecture room. if no one finds the key in 6 hours, the women win. while playing the game, players can tackle any player from the other team. they can also tackle the snake, but, if the snake gets hurt, everyone has lost.
“what to play locker hockey this weekend?”, “what the h-ll is locker hockey?”, “awsome! locker hockey! ya! can i be ther person with the keys?”

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