Lonely Sandwich

masturbating by putting your p-n-s between the mattress and the box-spring.
“oh like when you put it between the mattress and the box-spring? that’s called the lonely sandwich” – you look nice today: the magic number –
the act of cutting the zipper off of a plastic sandwich bag, squirting lubricant into it, placing the plastic bag into the microwave for 4-6 seconds, placing the bag between the cushions of a couch, and proceeding to then f-ck the couch silly. usually done by lonely virgins.
guy 1: dude, i lonely sandwiched like three times last night.

guy 2: you’re a sick b-st-rd. you seriously need to get laid.

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