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today, we salute you, trendy long island girl. in your r-t-rded furry boots, you understand that following a crowd is a small price to pay for the approval of your peers. sure, your huge overpriced designer handbag and oversized pearls may appear to have been stolen from your grandmother, but we rest -ssured that your daddy bought them for you fair and square. and yes, you may be sn-bby to every guy that approaches you, but we know that you’re only doing them a favor because you are in fact a b-tch with an annoying accent. so here’s to you trendy long island girl, because everyone knows that behind your dyed blonde hair and falsely-tanned skin there sits a real person in the driver’s seat of that lexus suv; and that real person… is a pale brunette. so do us all a favor and go back.
guy 1: is that girl with the furry boats in the lexus think shes better than everyone?
guy 2: no shes a b-tch
guy 3: oh a long island girl
some of these girls are sn-bby, rich, fake tanned prissy girls. and yes some of them wear their uggs in the summer with a mini skirt, and again yes some of them pay waaaayyy too much for their clothes and bags…correction daddy pays waaayy to much for their clothes and bags. but, some of us are strong gorgeous women who are driven. some of us are down to earth fun girls who are just real people who get -ssociate with a horrible stereotype of being completely standoffish and b-tchy toward everyone. some of us don’t talk with a strong accent at all and speak quite eloquently. some of us are judged by those who don’t know two anything about long island and the people who live here. and lastly some of us “long island girls” who are smart beautiful and kind, don’t like being grouped into this idea of what we should be. thank you!
person not from long island: your from long island?! really!? you don’t sound or look like it!?
long island girl: oh i’m sorry i didn’t know we were our own species. i’ll change my self as to fit your stereotype of us. so what about you? you don’t look like an ignorant -ss. i guess you just can’t judge by looks anymore.
a member of the female s-x that hails from n-ssau or suffolk county; technically, queens and kings (brooklyn) county females are “long island” girls, but out in the real world you’ll get looks for saying that.

many of them do strange things like wear their hair like they’re native americans going to war, fake eyelashes, too much make-up etc. at least they put a great deal of care into their appearance.

some of them come from well-off families. some of the girls from long island go to college at the university at buffalo; this saves them about $15,000 a year in tuition vs. most nyc universities, which they proceed to bilk their parents out of by getting them to buy them a new car. frankly, i’m impressed by their cleverness.

overall, they’re girls like any other. i personally have found the long island girls i’ve met to be very friendly and sweet (and i’m not the best looking guy by any means), so i would say the stereotype of them being shallow is a little inaccurate.

no comment on the stereotype about them being airheads, though.
#1

me: ub has been around since the 19th century. do you think long island girls came up from the city back in the 1800’s to go to school here like they do today?

my friend laughs: i doubt it.

me: but can you just picture them coming onto campus in a horse-and-buggy, wearing those old outfits with the giant hooped skirts down to their ankles–

my friend: –and talking with those accents?

we both bust out laughing

#2

me: every long island girl i’ve met has been very sweet to me, despite the fact that i’m no fabio. they’re the b-tt of a lot of jokes, especially here at ub, but most of them are decent people. i will always have a soft spot in my heart for them. i kinda hope i marry a long island girl someday.
dumb girls who wear their hair in messy buns and think it looks cute. flip flops and sweatpants are daily attire because theyre from victoria’s secret. big juicy bags and school sweatshirts complete a snotty long island girl, along with a nasty att-tude and an att-tute that is better than everyone else. roosevelt field is their main attraction.
kaite: omg do you see those long island girls?
nicole: yea, they actually think they look nice
katie: they look like they just rolled out of bed.
a subset of the female species that is attracted to anything tacky and expensive. they have adapted to solely wearing uggs footwear, even when the temperature surp-sses eighty degrees fahrenheit. in the winter, they most often wear their uggs with a subst-tute of leggings instead of pants, completely unaware of the fact that no one in h-ll wants to see their black-clad -sscheeks. in the summer, they wear their uggs with miniskirts, even though the outfit clearly defies logical sense and, moreover, good taste. they also tend to wear oversized sweatshirts depicting some nonexistent sports team that they like to pretend that they play for. in addition, to make things ever worse, they speak with one of the most irritating accents in the world, dragging their vowels out and over- accentuating their s’s.
person 1: those are long island girls.
person 2: how do you know?
person 1: look at their ugly -ss uggs, those fugly leggings with their m-ffin tops spilling over, and the same tacky hollister/aeropostale/abercrombie and fitch tote bags that they’re all carrying around.