Loomis Chaffee
loomis chaffee, known as “loomis” is an elite boarding school in windsor ct. it’s known for a beautiful campus, surprisingly down-to-earth students, and lacrosse. lacrosse. lacrosse.
despite it’s affiliation with ten schools admissions organization – the one to which exeter and andover belong to- you probably haven’t heard of it even if you’re a wealthy, intelligent new englander.
henry kravis, the leveraged buyout master billionaire, graduated from here along with several other notables.
as of 2008, students from eighteen countries were represented. students come from many states as well.
townies hate us for some reason.
to condense its characteristics quickly it’s: semi-preppy, generally upper middle cl-ss or higher, slightly waspy country club for four years at 41,200 dollars not including books.
(fictional conversation, fictional names.)
colby: “i need to lax so bad right now.”
hakim: “i am rich. bask in my richness.”
townie: “welcome to loomis chaffee. d-mn preppies!”
a prestigious inst-tution in windsor ct, the “island” where the geniuses smoke a ton of ganj
cl-ss prez: “yo, weed tonight?”
validictorian: “sure”
faculty member: “count me in!”
loser in background: “loomis chaffee!”
a once prominent and dignified educational inst-tution located in the cozy boroughs of windsor, connecticut, home to brilliant scholars and intellectuals. unfortunately, as of late, the quality of this school has been run aground onto the metaphorical island of sh-t. the school now sports a wonderfully heinous student population with such laudatory people such as hard drug dealers (i.e. ecstasy, cocaine, etc.), rapists, and as many stoned out of their mind teenagers as you could ever want. in addition, academics has gone down the drain, sporting the fact that nearly 25% of graduates have been “held back” an extra year. also the athletics are quite poor as the once frivolous lacrosse program has declined into a recent 2-12 season pit.
all in all, it costs a h-ll of a lot of money ($53,000/ year aprox.) just to get rid of your brat kid 4 years early.
alex: ever thought about going to that there loomis chaffee school?
seth: nah i don’t want to f-ck my life up.
alex: touche’.
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