lucy lawless


-lucy lawless doesn’t need to drive. her destinations come to her.
-it was lucy, not queen boudicca, that defeated rome back in the day.
-lucy doesn’t need to worry about wearing red or blue in l.a.- both the bloods and the crips know better than to mess with her.
-wwf/wwe’s chyna could lift the 280 pound champ over her head. lucy can do this with one hand, and was thus banned from wrestling.
-lucy doesn’t go through menstration. the eggs are too scared to come out.
-she tried to cut her own br–sts off, to make it easier to fight. realizing her br–sts were too tough, she now sharpens her sword on them.
-lucy is unable to have s-x, unfortunately. the one guy that she tried to sleep with got ground up like hamburger meat.
-when lucy visits alaska during the summer, the sun sets.
-lucy can touch m.c. hammer.
-when captain planet signed off saying “the power is yours!” lucy said, “no sh-t sherlock!”
-the creator of wonder woman met lucy many years ago, and thus got inspired to create the character of wonder woman.
-lucy can convert normal bacardi into 151 by touching the bottle.
-in the club, lucy doesn’t get accepted into vip. vip gets accepted to her.
-those who think women are the weaker s-x have not encountered lucy yet.
-chuck norris has challenged lucy to a fight before. not wanting to crush his ego, she declined.
-also, she knew such a collision of powers would break the sp-ce/time continuum, so she opted out.
-when lucy goes to the mall and walks into saks, the manager pays her $200 to wear the new pair of seven jeans.
-when lucy orders a drink, the bartenders tip her.
-in las vegas, lucy doesn’t pull the slot machine lever. tokens simply spill out when she walks by.
-lucy talks on her cell phone during a movie.
-lucy has caught bin laden.
-everyone knows all of our t.v. show’s signals travel to outer sp-ce. the reason all lifeforms steer clear of earth is because they have heard xena, warrior princess and do not want to get owned.
lucy lawless got accepted to haavard, and didn’t go. why you ask? attending would only make her lose brain cells.
1. a female actress from new zealand, born in the suburb of st. lukes in auckland. came to prominence after a minor career in europe with the role of xena, in “hercules” and her own t-tular role. like most admired gay icons, lucy lawless is heteros-xual. currently head of board of govenors for the starship national children’s hospital of new zealand.

2. to expose one’s breast accidentally at a sporting event, as per lucy’s performance at an ice hockey game.
1. “hey, who’s that tall girl next to agent scully? hey, it’s lucy lawless!!”

2. “the question is, did hjanet set it up, or was it a lucy?”

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