ludaphobia
(n.) the extreme fear of russian ballet warrior, liudmila. side effects include: rapid weight loss, increased suicidal thoughts, chair leaping, bruises, intense body odor, over active salivary/sweat glands, adaptation of russian dialect and culture, intense hatred of pianists named steve, increased awareness of one’s zipper.
-may lead to fear of mirrors and crippling injuries of hips and knees. also, intense longing for corrective surgery may induce.
positive polly became distraught when luda threw a chair at her, causing her ludaphobia to skyrocket out of control and sending her into an epileptic frenzy. she now resides in a padded room with no reflective objects whatsoever. we now call her fat.
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