Luke Skywalker

the main hero in the original star wars. he lived on tatooine until the day his uncle and aunt were killed by the empire. he joined ben ken-bi, han solo, chewbacca, and the 2 droids c-3po and r2-d2 on a quest against the empire and to become a jedi knight like his father was.

after rescuing princess leia and destroying death star, luke makes his way to yoda’s home and learns the skills of the jedi. however, he gets tricked into rescuing his friends and is lured by darth vader to join the dark side. in the lightsaber battle that followed, luke loses an arm and learns that darth vader is his father.

afterwards, he finishes up his lesson with yoda also learns that leia is his sister. he is then told to confront vader one last time and in the battle that follows, vader loses his arm and is relieved of his mask. vader later dies and luke returns back home.
luke skywalkers is a great jedi knight.
the son of anakin and padmé skywalker, also the brother of leia organa.
born in 19 bby, obi-wan’s apprentice anakin skywalker had betrayed and eliminated every single jedi under the new establishment of the galactic empire, along with his master emperor palpatine. after so many years being watched over by obi-wan, he decides its finally time for luke to do his part in destroying the dominant sith.

throughout 0 bby – 4 aby, luke skywalker has played a major role in being the hero of the rebel alliance after the destruction of the first death star. he was also trained furthermore about the ways of the force from jedi master yoda and helped to restore peace and justice back to the galaxy by redeeming his father, anakin.
obi-wan: remember, the force will be with you…always.

darth vader: obi-wan never told you what happened to your father.

luke skywalker: he told me enough! he told me you killed him.

darth vader: no luke, i am your father.

s-x move: while wearing a glow in the dark condom, take your d-ck out and slap the b-tch in the face with your “lightsaber”
i’m gonna introduce britt to luke skywalker tonight, then maybe she’ll learn her place
after s-x you c-m on the face of your partner then cut off their right hand while yelling, “i am your father!”
man, i totally got to do the luke skywalker to this girl last night.
did you have the millenium falcon ready?
of course not.
the fleeting, but p-ssionate, forbidden feeling of desire for one’s sibling.
i.e. luke skywalker and leia organa
the act of using a glow in the dark d-ld- on woman’s -sshole while, v-g-n- f-cking her in the doggy style position. after you j-zz, you slap her in the face with your flacid p-n-s and glow in the dark d-ld- as if they were lightsabers.
man, my b-tch said the bermingham booty call wasn’t enough, so i luke skywalkered dat face and she was speechless.
luke becomes a jedi knight, almost shacks up with his sister and defeats the empire on a weekly basis. on his weekends he enjoys fishing and f-cking around with his droid.
before he was a jedi knight he was raised by some sand farmers. apprently there’s a big demand for sand on tatooine.
anyway that sister he almost shacked up with, princess laid-ahh, well she’s doing a sp-ce pirate called hand’s alone and he totally kicks -ss. back to the plot though, this dude call old dirty ben is actually obi wan ken-to-tha-obi. he gives luke a piece so that m-f-s on the street don’t mess with him and teaches him how to work that thing.
one time he got in a fight with a sand people guy (they were sand men, but the feminist took care of that) and totally kicked his -ss. he got smoked by one in the first film but got his own back. it wasn’t in the film, but its heavily implied. pretty sure thats right.
well later we learn his dad was a pr-ck then he turned good for like 1 minute so that was supposed to make everything ok. i dunno. luke almost kills him. thats pretty f-cked up. his dad cut his hand off too while they were on jerry springer. the show was like “my dad’s a douche and blew up a planet” or something.
luke learns sh-t from yodel. he’s like kermit, but without the business sense. kermit ran a tight ship on the muppet show. i don’t how that fuzzy bear or whatever stayed on. i never got any of his jokes!
one time luke skywalker was on the muppet show. it’s totally true! i’m pretty sure it’s part of the storyline. it fills in the gap between a new hope and the empire strikes back.
so in short luke starts out a a bit of a dweeb but becomes fairly cool. he get an cool black costume, kicks -ss with the lightsaber and can use the force to throw sh-t at stuff. i guess his dads not so bad. he was a total bad -ss for a lot of the good trilogy. he was a d-ck in the latest three though.
conclusion: –luke skywalker– = dweeb to coolness
peep 1: that guy is cool
peep 2: yeah, he was a d-ck, but now he’s cool
peep 35: he’s like –luke skywalker–
-or-
peep 522: he luke skywalkered on us!
peep .5: w3rd!

(he’s in the good star wars films. not those stupid sequels.)