Mall Cop

contrary to popular belief, not all mall cops are power hungry people who think they are police officers. if a mall cop is an -sshole, it’s because he has to deal with people who try to ridicule, insult, & degrade him every time he goes to work just to do his job & make some money.

the job of a mall mall cop can actually be quite frustrating. aside from dealing with wannabe gangster b-tches who think they’re funny, you have a list of things that you don’t get paid enough to do, such as:

-drive around slowly while everybody & their mother crawls across the street
-help idiot parents find their idiot missing kids. this happens daily, and makes me instantly like those parents you see walking their kids on leashes like the dogs that they are.
-respond to potentially dangerous fights. news flash, getting paid $10 an hour is not enough for me to risk my life trying to save some wannabe thug from getting his -ss beat just because he doesn’t know how to talk to people.
-write long -ss reports every time we do something.
if a mall cop takes you out or gives you some sh-t, good! you’re probably some punk -ss teenager who deserved it anyways.. you disrespectful little tw-t.

i am a mall cop, none of us particularly enjoy our jobs that much and we definitely don’t think it’s glorious. most all of us are trying to work elsewhere, and a decent amount of us have military experience (including myself). a job is a job.
teenage wannabe gangster idiot: -points & laughs- “haha mall cop!!”

mall cop: -points & laughs- “haha unemployed!!”
a rent-a-cop that polices small areas, in example a mall. they try to hold you while they call the “real” police.
look at that fat -ss mall cop! hes pulling up his plumbers crack!
super lame b-tches that think they are all that ’cause they work the mall security for $8 /hour. they generally wear stupid uniforms and prejudge people who fit their “trouble maker criteria” instead they overlook all the cracker grannies that steal like motherf-ckers.
mall cop 1: hey look at those cracker grannies, they are good c-cksuckers.
mall cop 2: yeah, at $8 /hour that’s all i can afford.
mall cop 1: stoneridge mall is full of pig cracker grannies
stuck up, sn-bby people that think they’re so cool because they wear a uniform & work for $8/hour inside a mall. they can usually be found har-ssing kids that look different & ignoring the real trouble makers or can be found making up lies to have a reason to kick kids out of the mall.
mall cop 1: hey, look it’s kids wearing tripps

mall cop 2: yeah, let’s go har-ss them & ignore the kid in jeans shoplifting from that store.

mall cop 1: we’re the coolest people in the stroud mall!