man cold
the name ‘man cold’ disguises the true terrible, debilitating disease that is the man cold. nearly all men will die from man colds unless they are administered immediately with large amounts of mindless tv such as daytime tv, or childrens’ cartoons. it is essential that they not move from bed or a comfy sofa to allow for rehabilitation, and must have tissues and man cold medicine (such as chocolate biscuits, mcdonalds, or a nice cup of tea) brought to them constantly by a nearby female.
‘either i have meningitus, end stage brain cancer, or a man cold’
only men get man colds. they are the worst colds you can get. they are near-fatal. your man will not be able to lift a finger for two weeks, if you are lucky.
“hey s, wanna come bowling?”
“nah, i need to look after m, he’s got a cold.”
“psshhht. that’s daft, we’ve all got the sniffles, i mean, it is november!”
“no, i mean he’s got a man cold. he’s dying, the usual, blaha blaha…”
“ah. then he’d be miserable company anyway! so how about you come on your own?”
an affliction, usually caught by boyfriends or husbands, exhibiting cold-like symptoms, but no one has ever been as sick or tired as one who catches the mancold.
have you seen uzz lately? no, i haven’t, he’s had a mancold for weeks.
a man cold is found exclusivley upon the y chromosome. this particular strand of the common cold results in individuals acting like a little b-tch and crying about a stuffy nose. treatments for this include: suck it up, we dont care, and we’re not your mother.
synonyms: baby, little b-tch, mammas boy.
antonym: the woman cold in which a woman can be dying of internal bleeding and manage to p-ss it off as just a flesh wound.
male: i officially have a man cold. i will not move from my bed and must have tissues and other man cold medicine (lots of chocolate and herbal tea) brought to me on demand by a nearby female.
female: suck it up and take advil ya chud
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