Marshall Status
a term used to describe the level of intoxication caused by alcohol. when a person has reached marshall status, they have exceeded their alcohol tolerance by a ridiculous amount. symptoms: extreme vomiting, unconsciousness, and often accompanied by alcohol poisoning. people who reach marshall status also typically behave this way at house parties, and end up sleeping on a pull-out couch in the owner’s house, who they probably have never met before.
guy 1: “how drunk is he? holy sh-t, that’s a lot of throw up.”
guy 2: “he has definitely reached marshall status. did you find the thermometer? we need to make sure his body temperature hasn’t dropped, that means he has alcohol poisoning and we have to take them to the hospital. f-ck, he puked on my shoe.”
guy 3: “oh my f-cking god, he baptized my f-cking couch in vomit! what the f-ck!”
when a minor consumes so much alcohol that he/she develops long term dementia generally causing the consumer to creep like a pedophile in heat.
early signs that someone is beginning to reach marshall status include:
1)at the beginning of the night, using terms similar to:
“bro, let’s get obliberated tonight!”
“let’s get fuuuuucked upppp!”
“i wanna get destroyed!”
“dude. let’s just get demolished and do some crazy sh-t!”
2) once drinking has begun, conversations similar to:
“hi there my names marshall” -wink, -leans in for kiss,
“ewww i don’t even know you!” -slap
the person has probably reached marshall status if:
projectile vomiting occurs, to the point where a baptism could be done with liquid rejected.
marshall status is obtained often on college campuses where extracurricular activities are slim to nonexistent.
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