Martin Martini

a barnacle connoisseur, a very close talker, slurps on oysters regularly at random gay bars around the us. known as m m for short , few if not zero have tasted his martini and remembered about it the next day. some people still kinda like him mostly because he was the sole reason bill cosby’s barnacles were removed, this is also partly how he got his nickname (martin martini) bill crosbty taught m m everything he knew, some even say m m has surp-ssed bill crosty in his drug and f-ck abilities. if you so much as catch a glimpse of the actual m m in person close your eyes and mouth, bow your head and start praying… it is out of your control, if for some reason he decides to not drug and f-ck you consider yourself one of the luckiest people breathing on earth right now with the odds of being struck by lightening in your lifetime is 1 in 3,000. the odds that you make it out of that f-g bar undrugged and unf-cked by m m are about 666 in 666,666,666 not like you’d know if you’ve been drugged or f-cked anyways m m does a great job at cleaning up and has had many years to profect his work.
“hey jim do you remember that one guy we met at the bar last night, he would talk real close and his breath smelled like your sister p-ssy?”
“no bill i didn’t even remember waking up yesterday” -intro scene for csi: miami-(case of the forgotten martin martini)