marvelous mammoth


a female of immense physical proportions
the girls height must vary from 6’2 to 6’5 and her weight must vary from 260 lbs to 310 lbs… any female exceeding these measurements must instead be referred to as a gigantor whale
the ideal marvelous mammoth is 6’3 and 280 pounds

these creatures have been known to trample any and all people/things in their path. a true marvelous mammoth makes a hideous grunting sound once every few pounding steps

the famous uglyb-tchologist, woo, the self-proclaimed “king of snot-rockets”, warns all men that “marvelous mammoths are quite terrifying, if you see one coming towards you on the street, dont cross the street or look away, because they will become self concious and angry. however keep all toes, fingers and your p-n-s as far away as possible becuase the big b-tches might try to gobble them down.”
jose contreras: what the f-ck is that?!?!?
bruce lee: what??
jose contreras: the grunting troll… except its not a troll its f-cking huge!
bruce lee: oh sh-t! thats a f-ckin marvelous mammoth if ive ever seen one! run away!!

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