massillon

a city in northeast ohio that used to be a haven for high school football, but now runs rampant with dbags, and 80’s football alumni who still wear their mid-drift mesh jerseys around town, still expecting preferrential treatment, particularly at cash advance businesses. the only cool people in the town are the really, really old people because they used to work, but now the town is filled with lazy welfare recipients so busy buying food at long john silvers that they can’t possibly find time to work there.

when the football team does well in the playoffs, it is usually because some player transferred from a surrounding school district and convinced at least three others to go along with him.
dbag 1: “i’ve waited my whole life to play qb for the m-ssillon”

dbag 2: “i heard you weren’t going to be any good, so i transferred in so i could start over you.”
a city of around 30,000 people in northeast ohio, just west of canton. crazy high school football city. baby boys born in m-ssillon are given small footb-lls in the hospital. in fact, m-ssillon’s high school football team has the second winningest program in the nation behind valdosta, georgia. a couple of m-ssillon alumni include paul brown and former nfl linebacker chris spielman. the m-ssillon tigers have a huge, nationally known rivalry with the next door canton mckinley bulldogs. this was the topic of the film go tigers!…bobby knight was also born in m-ssillon.
we don’t care about school here in m-ssillon, just football. we also don’t seem to mind the horrid stench of human waste drifting over from the landfill or sewage plant or whatever it is into the parking lot of the wal-mart either.