Master Farmer


an inhabitant of draynor village in runescape. contrary to what his name might suggest, the master farmer does not spend any time “farming”, per se. instead, he spends his days roaming around the square, waiting for players to try to steal his seeds so he can scream “cor blimey mate, what are ye doing in me pockets?” and punch them hard enough to cause fractures. he lives for this.
because he does not farm, it is questionable how he manages to get so many seeds to begin with. perhaps he buys them on the grand exchange; perhaps he is a pickpocket himself; perhaps he has secret underground crops farmed by an army of master farmerites. whatever the case, he fits right in with the many sketchy citizens of draynor.
player: -attempts to pick the master farmer’s pocket-
master farmer: -gives the player a fracture-causing punch- cor blimey mate, what are ye doing in me pockets?
player: training my thieving level, you d-ck!

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