masturbatastrophe


when the act of pleasuring one’s self goes utterly wrong.
mark: “i don’t think i’ll ever be able to face my family again”
dave: “sh-t, what happened dude?”
mark: “well, last night as i was pouring myself a hand-shandy, the cat walked into my room and jumped on my lap, just when i reached my vinegar strokes”
dave: “i’m sure he’ll get over it”
mark: “but that’s not the worst part; before i could clean him off, my little sister ran in and grabbed him. later i saw the cat walking around with a mohican while my sister kept saying something about becoming a pet stylist”
dave: “wow. that truly was a masturbatastrophe”

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