Masturbation

although, pr-nounced really as master bation, is a suffering of bating who becomes their master. by masturbation, will cast away that tormenting spirit that haunts within their minds. towards a more well suited ruler to bless their soul once their handy work has endured. of course, that tormenting spirit finds this as an exciting game to play, so torments constantly non-stop and continually making the masturbation go on and on.
ben liked having a quick bash of his bishop, only things turned slightly awkward. a tormenting spirit saw this masturbation go on, and realising how the mind his satisfies was not as he prefered. within bens mind this spirit kept reminding him, by saying ‘you’re me’ non-stop, of the master he has upon his head. so at several intervals, all day and all week, till he rubbed sore, m-st-rb-t-d till his mind was at peace and had the master he wished for.
the act of touching oneself to produce a favorable feeling in the groin area. usually accompanied by some sort of mental, visual, or audio stimulation to -ssist in reaching climax.

jerking off; spit-shining the old water pump; waxing the br-ss candlestick; beating off; playing cards with only one hand on the table; riding the quarter-horse; joining the mile-high club, solo-aviator division; giving in to the hand police; self-actualization; fully realizing your potential
no honey, i don’t want to tonight, i’m tired from watching oprah. why don’t you just go m-st-rb-t-?

that dumb broad got me all worked up and left me; so i had to spit-shine the old water pump manually if ya know what i mean.

sometimes, when i wake up, i have an erection, so i have to beat off until it goes away. sometimes, it comes back so i beat off again until it goes away. once, it kept coming back so i just chopped it off. it hurt bad.
m-ss murder of millions of tiny defenseless sperm.
if hitler was into masturbation instead of murder all the millions of deaths would not upset the world.
the act of s-xualy pleasing oneself, usually to -rg-sm.
masturbation is the best exercise i get all day!
manual stimulation of the p-n-s of v-g-n- to produce a stimulation simular to actual penetration by a member of the opposite s-x.

it’s something most of us have been caught doing, never admit to doing, and know full well that everyone else does.
woody allen: “don’t knock masturbation. it’s s-x with someone that i love.”
“practise s-x”
if masturbation were a sport, i’d be a jock.
something guys cannot get out of habbit.
time for my daily jerk!
playing solo on one’s organs.

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