Masturbetes
a common yet often undiagnosed disease normally developed in but not limited to the late teens, namely freshman year of college. although it can be seen in the rare female case, masturbetes affects mainly males. this disease causes the t-st-cl-s to produce large amounts of s-m-n and testosterone, thus causing a drastic peak in the s-xual desire and arousal of the afflicted male, who is scientifically referred to as a masturbetic. the most common treatment is excessive masturbation, usually accompanied by the viewing of p-rnographic materials. another symptom is increased aggressive behavior towards the female s-x mostly in an attempt to receive a sort of -ssisted treatment from said female. rejection can lead to the maturbetic engaging in further self-treatment. -j-c-l-t–n reduces elevated s-xual desire and s-m-n in masturbetics, similar to how insulin shots decrease abnormally high blood sugar in diabetics. severe cases call for around 3-5 rounds of intense treatment to curb desire and reduce the amount of s-m-n to normal levels. lubrication is advised in such cases to avoid irritation of the penile region.
“dude…i just went to the doctor, and i got diagnosed with masturbetes…”
“that’s why you jerk off so much! that sucks man”
“not really, i got a doctor’s note, and now that i’m a masturbetic, i can slap my johnson in cl-ss”
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