Matrixism


a religion jacked from a fictional action movie, and thrown into the world of infinite beliefs out of pity for the nerd-species of human-kind. consists of the beleif that what we see, hear, smell, and feel are all part of a matrix that is unreal. otherise defined as:

gayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy.
what would neo do? matrixism.
budding religion being promoted by illiterate teenagers on the internet. based around the movie the matrix. practicioners believe the real world is a hoax that’s being pulled on us by robots, sp-ce aliens, or multinational corporations depeding on which one you ask. the key to open the door to perception is often thought to be acid, mushrooms, or some other drug. because if the hippies taught us anything, they taught us that all the stuff you see on acid is real and makes perfect sense. hey, good luck with that, guys.

there are several interesting parallels between the matrix movies and the new testament, however:

-in both cases, they start off with a somewhat reluctant messiah figure who somehow transcends mortality before whizzing off into sp-ce (end of the first matrix movie, jesus’ bodily -ssumption into heaven).

-said messiah figure says many interesting things, such as “blessed are the meek” (new testament), or “whoa” (the matrix).

-both the matrix movies and the new testament start out well but eventually meander off into a disorganized pile of cr-p into which the authors threw every half–ssed idea they could think of.

-both end with a denouement that makes absolutely no sense and is completely unsatisfying.

given the success of new testament christianity, matrixism may well have what it takes to be a contender on the world’s religious stage.
“h-llo, sir! may i come in and talk to you about how neo and matrixism have changed my life? no? oh well, oracle bless you anyway.”
matrixism is a stupid wannabe religion created by computer nerds. although the fist matrix film is one of the best action movies ever, taking this seriously is stupid beyond recognition. matrixism teaches that the matrix is real and that we’re all part of it.

if the matrix was real one of two things would have happened 1. agents would have -ss-ssinated the founders of matrixism, 2 zion rebels would have awakened the founders of matrixism. since neither of the aforementioned consequences have happened matrixism has been proven to be fake. they also support illegal drug use and vandalism. this could become the next scientology.
nerd #1:

wow! that was such an awesome movie.

nerd #2:

yeah maybe we are in the matrix now and we should do drugs to wake up from it.

nerd #1:

and get the girls to! hooray for matrixism!
budding religion being promoted on the internet. based around the movie the matrix. practicioners believe that we are all prisoners in living in a cell that we cannot see or smell or touch. the key to open the door to perception is often thought to be lsd or psilocybin mushrooms. along with some other laws matrixism allows for polygamy and same-s-x marriage while outlawing p-rnography and professional sports.

there are several interesting parallels between the matrix movies and the new testament:

-in both cases, they start off with a somewhat reluctant messiah figure who somehow transcends mortality before whizzing off into sp-ce (end of the first matrix movie, jesus’ bodily -ssumption into heaven).

-said messiah figure says many interesting things, such as “blessed are the meek” (new testament), or “there is no spoon” (the matrix).
given the success of new testament christianity, matrixism may well have what it takes to be a contender on the world’s religious stage.

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