matt bottom

a matt bottom is a curious teenage boy who only wants to know what length pyjamas girls wear to bed, he is most definately not into a cheeky nandos and if he was he would be a mango and lime and 1 fino side (creamy mash) kind of lad. you know you’re dealing with a matt bottom when he’s constantly active on facebook and popping up to absolutely f-cking everyone. he is an absolute ledge and you would be very fortunate to be graced by him. easily identifiable this full kit w-nker will have spiky hair and be wearing his best shoes to please the girls (umbro). his dirty talk will sound of similar structure “what do you think of me”, “how soft are your lips” and “video call me”
luke: “jenny keep clear of him, he’s a matt bottom”

jenny: “put your football away, it takes a matt bottom to know a matt bottom”
matt bottom:
a matt bottom is someone who claims he is curious about the female anatomy when all he really wants is nudes. you know you’re talking to a matt bottom when he’s always active on facebook, is three years behind on social media and if you went to nandos he would get one fino side of creamy mash and offer to pay on his loyalty card. a matt bottom thinks dirty talking sounds like:

‘what length pyjamas do you where’

‘how soft are you’re lips’
‘what do you like about me’

a matt bottom is desperate to lose his virginty, and claims his favourite game is truth or dare when everyone knows it’s mind craft. you can physically identify a matt bottom by seeing if he’s wearing a football top, matching shoes and spikey hair

a matt bottom will be a 17 year old lad kicking a ball around the park and chatting up any girl in sight.

this full kit w-nker is someone to keep clear of.

luke:’ jenny stay clear of that kid, he’s a matt bottom’

jenny:’put your football away luke it takes a matt bottom to know a matt bottom’
luke:’ look at that eighteen year old kid in the park, that’s defo a matt bottom’