Matt Gill
n. – a mythical irishman who was said to have destroyed superman’s home when he first synthesized krypton in chemistry. standing about five feet tall, matt gill can fly, shoot lazer beans from his eyes, drink any amount of beer, and turn any frisbee he touches into straight, heat-seeking, side-winding, and lazer-guided missles until they reach their intended targets.
matt gill commonly insists that he hasn’t drank, as less than 99 beers off the wall doesn’t even count in his book.
matt gill is an omnihero, and as such can outrun any superhero. he eats gold and p-sses rainbows, allowing him to follow the yellow, orange, red, green, blue, indigo, and violet river to more gold, in a vicious cycle. leprechauns worship him as their savior and upholder of irish traditions.
when matt gill threw a frisbee the length of half a football field against the wind, and abruptly appeared to catch it with his left hand while not looking for a touchdown.
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