Matterboat
an individual like none other. often found matterbating, a matterboat claims to be incredibly bad–ss yet spends his free time hiding and giggling in corners while brushing his teeth. matterboat’s tend to have a way with the ladies, yet frequently find the girls of their dreams just out of reach.
matterboat’s also have the following characteristics: make weird noises, play air guitar in bed, are friends with everyone, and wiggle their knees.
“who is it…?”
“matt… ”
“matter who…??”
“matterboat!! ”
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