MDD

“male douchebag disorder,” “matt d. douchebaggery,” or “matt d. disorder” – having a perma-att-tude of being awesome, but playing it off like it’s nothing, also known as “being a douchebag.” having already one-upped you in every way, that would make you “super nothing.”

in short, someone who suffers from mdd believes that completely interesting things happen to them every waking moment of their life, and everyone but themselves care about it.
person 1: what’s wrong with that guy? he’s such a -jerk.-
person 2: oh, him? it’s nothing. he just has mdd.

you: i got a guitar last sat-rday, man. i love it.
person suffering from mdd: i’ve had a guitar since i was three. i can play music from, like, every nes game ever.
you: i can kinda-sorta play.
psmdd: i’ve played for years. it’s no big deal, though. it’s just how i am.

you: i’m kinda tired. i was up talking to m-
psmdd: i’m an insomniac. i don’t sleep. ever. but, you know, that’s just how it is. you probably couldn’t handle it, though, it makes you lose your mind.

you: yeah, i’ve only been to that one funeral, but-
psmdd: i go to like, three funerals every year. i went to one yesterday. everyone i know is dying. i don’t care.
you: those catholic funerals are so long.
psmdd: i don’t go to religious ones, but they have to bless the entire building. so many things happen to me, but that’s just how it is, i guess.
an abbreviation used to covertly refer to manic depressive disorder (bipolar) or major depressive disorder (unipolar). simply referring to it as m.d.d. helps avoid random strangers eavesdropping and thinking you’re nuts.
my m.d.d. is playing up again. that’s why you haven’t seen much of me recently.