melophobe
a melophobe is someone who fears people who have s-x with melons (melophile) of all sorts but specifically watermelons. this fear has been dated back to king henry the viii who walked in on his father (henry vii) while he was having a foursome with henry s mother a watermelon and a bag of weed. today this fear affects people in the thousands most famously is tom cruise he used to be a melophile but in an unfortunate accident with a melon which had a knife in he is no longer.
idiot #1: “i heard jimmy’s in the hospital dude!”
idiot #2: “is it his melophobia?”
idiot #1: “yeah, it’s real bad… he happened upon tom cruise going at it jackhammer style with a j-panese cube watermelon. i think he’s in critical condition!”
idiot #2: “man that guy has to be more sensitive to the melophobe community”
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