menu terrorist

(noun) a person who leaves restaurant menus attached to apartment, house, and business doors. said menus are unsolicited and not appreciated by the victims.

you will go to work or out for drinks, and when you come home, you find that your building has been “attacked” by menu terrorists. no one was spared: every single door in your 35 floor apartment building has a menu attached to it. there may even be three menus.

menu terrorists are based out of south korea, but their operations are global.

when you patronize restaurants that engage in menu terrorism, the menu terrorists win. however, if the menu comes with a coupon for greater than 10% off of your meal’s price at the restaurant, then visiting the restaurant is permitable.

sometimes menu terrorists engage in suicide bombings. unlike arabs who blow themselves up as part of the attack, menu terrorists kill themselves after the attack, because they realize that everyone hates them and wishes they would die.
oh sh-t! my apartment was attacked by menu terrorists last night! b-st-rds! let’s hope this -sshole was a suicide bomber.

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