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a hot babe from head to waist, and a scaly fish from the waist to the tip of her tail. mermaids like to sit on rocks and use either a) their enchanting sirens’ songs, or b) the tried-and-true tactic of looking in a mirror and combing their green hair while they display their huge t-ts in order to lure human men (and especially sailors and pirates and stuff) to make love to them. note that the mermen and merwomen do not do this, though young mermen have been known to kidnap human women and turn them into mermaids.

mermaids are described as either mortal (with or without a soul) or fairies, so they may or may not command powerful magic. some can see the future, turn their tails into hot legs, call up storms, sink ships with tidal waves, and do other cool stuff. others can sing… and that’s about it.

contrary to popular belief, mermaids can in fact do more than give head. i’d do with a mermaid, because i’m a pirate.
mermaids don’t squirt out fish eggs like futurama would have you believe. after all, if merbabes weren’t born live, they wouldn’t have belly b-ttons!
a legendary sea creature having the upper torso of a gorgeous woman and, from waist down, the tail of either:

a. a whale
b. a dolphin
c. a fish
or
d. any other sea creature.

mermaid sightings have been popular throughout the centuries. some time ago in the 1800’s, a fisherman reportedly caught sight of some sort of creature in the sea, having the upper torso of a woman with long brown hair and a white tail speckled with black. around the 1890’s, two women drying seaweed on the ocean sh-r- found a childlike female creature naked and playing along the sh-r-s. days later, the child’s body was found washed up on sh-r-. she looked to be about four years of age, with pale skin and a developed chest, and what looked to be a salmon’s tail from the waist down.

mermaids have a very seductive nature, and almost always make love with sailors. no one knows they do this, but there is a theory that they are simply attempting to produce more of their species. when turned down on an offer of s-x, though, the mermaid will be thrown into a fit of rage and slay the sailor who refused her pleasure.

see: temptress
i don’t care what skeptics and scientists say. i believe mermaids exist.
a rare but real being. half human. half sea creature. a freak of nature. when a lonely mountain man had s-x with a salmon, the salmons little fish babies had the top half of a person, but the bottom half of a fish. bam! the mermaid was born.
jimmy: im so lonely. there isnt much to do in the mountains.

salmon: glubglubglubglub..

jimmy: well.. youre pretty arent you.. yes. pretty pretty salmon.. shal we fornicate in this torrent of water and make a b-st-rd child and call it a mermaid? half man, half fish? yes? good. brace youre self..
a mystical creature. a mermaid is a young woman of the merfolk (or “merpeople”); from the waist up, she is most likely a beautiful maiden with flowing hair and generous proportions, while from the waist down, she has the tail of a fish or dolphin. mermaids, along with appearing physically beautiful, are also gifted with beautiful singing voices. aside from the young women, the other merpeople are rarely shown.

mermaids are known for falling in love with human men, and many ships and sailors are said to have been dragged under the waves by the watery nymphomaniacs. others are known to play tricks on seafarers. still others are known for saving people who are in trouble at sea.

then there is “the mermaid problem”: despite being an enticing woman from the waist up, it is not known how these creatures procreate, which has led many human males to great frustration and many mermaids to great confusion. still, if you don’t think to hard about it, it works out well… especially if merpeople have the ability to -ssume full human form rather than half-fish, half-human.
“look out, lad, a mermaid be waiting for you
in mysterious fathoms below”
-lyrics from the opening of “the little mermaid”
a half-fish, half-human female who is very s-xy and has a beautiful voice. reminiscent of ancient greek legends of sirens or sea women who, with their sweet voices, would lure sailors to their deaths on rocky sh-r-s.
i met a hot mermaid chick who gave me the best bl-wj-b i ever had.
a fish with the upper body of a female p-rn star.
hey, you’ve got a dark spot on your trunks. what’s up with that?
that mermaid just blew me a kiss while i was surfing.
girls who cannot relate to boys on any intellectual level. they are only able to use their looks or s-xuality to get attention. jealous of girls who are able to use both.
the mermaids saw the wendies laughing with the boys and decide to drown them.

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