methew
the person named matt that is so weird that you come up with an insane theory that includes meth about why they are like that.
dude i heard that methew went to an alternate dimension, kidnapped a jigglypuff and hid it in a secret room behind his closet where he forces it to cook meth.
dude he isn’t that weird.
we call him methew for christs sake he has to be weird.
probably from the same side of your family as your drunkle, your methew is, you got it, on crystal meth! his teeth are falling out and he probably looks older than you do, but hey, he still got an ‘a’ at chemistry. unlike your drunkle, he won’t throw up under the table. he might blow up the shed out back.
“that was really nice of your family to give that homeless guy some food on thanksgiving.”
“that wasn’t a homeless guy. that was my methew.”
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