Meyerpire
the pathetic brainchild of stephenie meyer in her world of twilight.
they are not, i repeat, not vampires
they can be vegetarian. as in, no human blood just deers and the like.
they attract victims to them with their ‘sparkly good looks’.
have extremely unnesessary powers ie. seeing only so far into the future until it changes at the last minute
they can somehow reproduce when they biologically can’t!
edward: “this is the skin of a killer, bella!”
-sparkle- -sparkle-
bella: oooh scary!
normal person: o.o …. wtf? that ain’t a vampire it’s a stupid meyerpire!
someone (or something) under the delusion that they’re a vampire.
name derived from stephanie meyer’s book twilight, namely its “vampires” which really aren’t vampires at all but strong people that drink blood and sparkle.
“did you read that horror book i lent you?”
“yeah, but it sucked. they’re all meyerpires. you want a real vampire, check out joss whedon.”
“dude, that girl -ssaulted me last night. said she wanted to drink my blood! thank g-d the cops pulled up.”
“yeah, she’s a real meyerpire.”
n.
fangless, sparkling, abacrombie and fitch blood suckers featured in the twilight series.
edward cullen is a glittery fairy meyer-pire.
a vampire in twilight.
the are not real vampires because…
they sparkle in the sun, not burn.
the never sleep.
they can only die by being cut up and burned (what?). make sure you burn them because otherwise they’ll put themselves back together.
they’re worst enemies are werewolves (which are also not real werewolves… they turn into wolves. and back. and that’s it. no full moon or anything…)
they can be “vegetarians”.
and more!
ugh, edward cullen is such a meyerpire.
a slang name for the pseudo-vampire creatures found in the “twilight” book series. it’s pretty clear that they aren’t vampires as they betray 90% of the features -ssociated with vampire myths.
twilight fan: “edward cullen is the cutest, most loving, caring, deeply involved vampire in existence”
average person: “ugh, you still read that poorly written gibberish. stephenie meyer can take her meyerpires and !@#$ off”
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